Parenting mistakes are as sure a thing as taxes or Trump tweets. They’re unavoidable and will continually happen for the duration of your time as a father (sorry). The trick, however, is to have them occur less frequently and seldom be repeated. A tall order, I know, and usually easier said than done.
My 4 Parenting Mistakes
Various parental resources are quick to outline the common missteps parents may commit. But, what about those recognized blunders that may actually work to our childís benefit? Well, in there lies the question. Here are 4 mistakes I’m happy I’ve made as a parent.
Raising the Child I Want Instead Of The Child I Have
Applying undo pressure on children is a practice I reject wholeheartedly. That said, I do believe in guidance, accountability, and acceptable conduct for my son. I need him to know that there are right and wrong ways to go about things. Although I have no predetermined expectation of the child I wish him to be. I do have a very clear idea of who Iíd prefer him not to become. Allowing him to develop poor habits in the name of self-discovery, to me, is asinine. Therefore, I raise the child I want, within reason. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with imposing a parent’s will to curtail future follies.
Losing My Patience
Admittedly, this is a behavioural defect I wrestle with often. I’m generally very accommodating when it comes to granting an ample margin for growth. However, there are occasions where patience is no longer an option. Especially in scenarios that involved recurring misjudgments on the part of my boy. I’m perfectly content with him faltering once, twice, or even a third time, to gain a valuable lesson. I’ll always be there to explain the error of his ways so that he may make better decisions. Nevertheless, when numerous lapses yield no greater understanding, I must then “drive the point home” vehemently. Granted, these aren’t my finer moments and even I’m left dumbfounded by the frankness of my candour. But as I sometimes say, “floral bouquets are the only things meant to be pretty, always”.
Criticism
This is not to be mistaken with “tiger parenting”, setting unrealistic expectations, nor comparing his achievements to other children. Not at all and none of the above. What this is, is not allowing him to believe that everything he does is unquestionably great. I try to run an honest household. Therefore, the stark reality of the pains associated with truth will rear its ugly head from time to time. I challenge him to do the best he can. Calling him out if I think he has phoned in his efforts. I will say to him simply, “What do you think of your work?” or “Do you think you could have done this better?”. These subtle critiques encourage engagement where we can then explore possible improvement. For, let’s all face it, this world is plagued with “special kids” who expect participation awards. Mine will not be one of them.
Trying to Make My Child Happy
Living vicariously through your kids can be problematic in itself. I’ve internalized his happiness as my own and relish in his joy. I strive to give him the childhood I never had and will continue to do so, unapologetically. That said, he understands that what he perceives as “happiness” is subject to rules and predilections set by his mother and I. And that deviation from set guidelines will certainly result in some sorrowful consequences. I won’t grant him all he desires. Though I will show him that the world is his oyster, assuming that he’s ready to sift through the muck to find it. Hopefully, he’ll then learn to be happy not because everything is good. But, because he can see the good in everything.
Mistakes Prove That You’re Trying
I once heard someone say, “I learn so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking about making a few more”. Although comical, they weren’t too far off the mark. Raising kids isn’t a set procedure. So, every once in a while, our faults may provide our greatest advantages.