So, you’re a new father, and not only have you not felt much like yourself for the past __ (feel free to fill in the blanks). But, you have also likely done away with any intimacy with your partner, in the pursuit of getting more rest. Does any of this sound vaguely familiar? No need to hang your head in defeat fellas, we’ve all been there. And, for any who claim to have maintained their level of erotic output throughout the entire life-altering shift of bringing a newborn into their lives. They may be either: phoning-in their parental duties or are the very alien inhabitants L. Ron Hubbard had foretold. Either way, fuck those bragging bitches.
Maintaining Your Sex Life After Having Kids
The simple fact is: children can be real ass-hats in the romance department. But, we cannot allow them to extinguish the home fires. As couples, we need to make an effort to preserve that spark which initiated the baby-making in the first place. I’m not going to lie to you, rekindling intimacy will require some work. Your lustful impulses may feel a tad misaligned, but this is absolutely necessary for everyoneís sanity and well-being.
4 Simple Steps to Romance
Here are 4 simple steps to put some much-needed romance back into your lives (and even possibly “the horizontal handshake”):
Take It Easy
Donít expect to “storm the cotton gin” shortly after a human has emerged from your partnerís pleasure canyon. That’s just putting undue stress and pressure on an already sensitive transition. Take it easy. Maybe start off with some playful fondling and go from there. In a way, it’s like rounding the bases all over again. Play nice and don’t go straight for the steal.
Get Away From Your Baby!
Do you have loving parents who would like nothing more than to spend some time with their new grandchild? Do you have siblings who would love to take your baby for an afternoon and spoil them rotten? Have you had offers from a trusted friend to take the baby off your hands for a few hours? Take them up on their offer! I’m not proposing the all-out abandonment of your kin. But, I am suggesting that time away is a good thing. The only way for you to remember who you were as a couple, is to act like you were as a couple. This means detaching yourself from parenthood momentarily to regain your composure.
Make a Date, Keep a Date
If you have just had a child, you are likely long overdue for a little outdoor recreation. The idea of the ‘date night’ (or “afternoon dating”) is nothing new and has been known to aid in the rejuvenation of a coupleís dwindling libido. However; the only way to gain the full benefit of such a useful practice is to “make a date and then keep the date”. I’m certain that you can come up with a whole host of excuses not to go out. But, I guarantee that those excuses will not help you in the long run. Block off some time to be a couple again, if even for just a few hours. Get a sitter and then get gone.
Communication Is Key
This may be a bit obvious, but donít bottle up your emotions. If you have something to say regarding your newfound lack of loving, the cluster-fuck of becoming a new parent, and dealing with your very own living, breathing, suckling lil’ cock-blocker… let that shit out. The only way to get through the hard times is to acknowledge them. Silence only breeds begrudging resentment. And, don’t you already have enough to deal with?
Parenting can do a real number on couples, but it doesnít always have to. Be honest with yourselves, address the issue, and get your groove back [mic drop].